An inside look at politics, love, business and life. A satirical and controversial incite from the guy who wasn’t supposed to hear anything but ended up hearing it all. Memoirs of a veteran bartender with over 20 years in the business in some of the most prominent cities in America working everything from back-stage catering to historical saloons to private exclusive parties. Hidden hilarious stories, secret cooking tips and amazing drink recipes. Continue reading
If laughter is the best medicine, this comedy could be an overdose.
Joyce’s cooking is so bad that her husband and kids want to amputate their tongues to save themselves for the taste of her food. Joyce’s husband, Gary, loves his football team more than he loves her. But they are not an entirely unhappy couple.
Joyce and Gary have five children.
Twenty-one-year-old Fred, their eldest child, is a loafer who believes he will soon be a millionaire. He spends most of his time chasing his elusive dream. A gourmand, he is the only member of the family who enjoys Joyce’s cooking.
Eighteen-year-old Nyasha is in a never-ending search for the man of her dreams. She believes she will soon find Mr Right.
Fourteen-year-old Rachel is very religious and she always reads her Bible. She is self-righteous and always has a Biblical verse on the tip of her tongue.
Sam, Rachel’s twin brother, is very rude and enjoys insulting people.
Five-year-old Alvin, better known as Big Cheeks, is a result of a contraceptive blunder. He is very inquisitive and speaks his mind.
As they go on with their everyday lives, the seven members of this family will unwittingly make you laugh. Continue reading
Political comedy in which Fred Underwood, a fired English teacher, scams the political system, gets the girl, the money, and a killer skateboarder computer game. Continue reading
What should you do if your spouse becomes addicted to the Lord of the Rings movies and swoons at the very mention of Orlando Bloom’s name? (Thud. Quick, fetch the smelling salts.)
How about taking the advice of a strange apparition that reveals itself in a dream? An apparition that looks remarkably like the director of the movies, Peter Jackson, but not quite remarkably enough to prompt legal action.
An apparition that recommends touring New Zealand in an effort to prove that its sheep pastures aren’t really filled by frolicking Hobbits. Just sheep and the occasional zorbing local.
This is the hilarious tale of such a tour, featuring snow capped mountains and turquoise lakes, flightless birds and flying cattle, bungy jumping grannies and the carrot mafia, strange yellow eyes peering up from a road map and hotel receptionists always desperate to know “win you are living.” Continue reading
Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn’t changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day. Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as “Irritable Vowel Syndrome,” “In math class, no one can hear you scream,” and “I love the smell of Lysol in the morning,” Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit. Continue reading
A humorous look at stupid dogs, duct tape, and psycho drama queens in the heart of Texas. Cheryl takes the reader deep into the Texas Big Country to explore the wild side of raising kids, wrangling rattle snakes and finding the happy in everyday life. Continue reading
Once upon a time, he was the coolest radio DJ at WKPX Harveyville. He always played the really good music and not the plastic pop pap that the corporate overlords wanted him to play. Until the day that he launched the apocalypse protocol, almost triggered the end of the world (well, sort of) and definitely triggered the end of his career…
Warning: There will be some rude words in this story, including the one that starts with an F, so sensitive souls should tread carefully. Continue reading
Terrorists have decided to hit the West where it will hurt the most: their bowels.
Now two super spies will teach the terrorists a lesson they will never forget: Nobody touches our toilet paper and lives to tell the tale.
The Toilet Paper Conspiracy is a 5300 word short story, starring Jack and Shakespeare. Continue reading
What do you do if a co-worker won’t stop listening to Kenny G all day? If you’re Aliester Crewley, you do the obvious thing: You raise John Coltrane as a zombie to kill him. But what if Kenny G won’t stay dead? And worse, what if all of this mystical meddling accidentally starts the apocalypse? One thing is for sure, it’ll take more than the help of Keith Richards (the most powerful magician on earth) to stop Britanny Spears and her army of flying monkeys from turning earth into a pile of rubble. Don’t be fooled into thinking Kenny G Must Die!! is just a funny bit of satire. It could, in fact, be a brilliantly disguised piece of prophecy. Think about it- how can music that bad be so popular? Continue reading
When Joe and his girlfriend Joy decide to trade in their life on a cold Lancashire fish market to run a bar in the Tenerife sunshine, they anticipate a paradise of sea, sand and siestas. Little did they expect their foreign fantasy to turn out to be about as exotic as Grimsby on a wet Monday morning. Continue reading