But Can You Drink The Water? by Jan Hurst-Nicholson

When Frank Turner informs his wife and teenage son they are emigrating from Liverpool to sunny South Africa he is unprepared for their hostile response. His defiant son makes his own silent protest, and his wife’s assertion that “we never shoulda come” is parroted at every minor calamity.

The bewildered working-class scousers are thrust into an alien world of servants, strange African customs, unintelligible accents, and unexpected wild life (‘crocodiles’ on the wall).
Their uneasy interactions with Zulu servants, Afrikaner neighbours, and foreign officialdom exposes their naivety, but they each learn to cope in their own individual way; Mavis overcoming homesickness by hugging the knowledge that when Frank’s contract ends they can return home; Gerry’s sullen resentment giving way to love of the outdoor life, and Frank masking his own doubts with blustering optimism and bantering sarcasm.
Having overcome culture shock, the arrival of Mavis’s parents introduces a divided loyalty when Gert and Walter’s National Health glasses and ill-fitting dentures are seen through the eyes of the Turner’s new South African friends. And when Mavis’s sister ‘our Treesa’ and her opinionated husband Clive visit, Mavis surprises herself by hotly defending SA.
The turning point comes when the family return to Liverpool for a holiday. Gerry has outgrown his former feral friends, Mavis realises she is now an expat; a misfit in her former home, and Frank has fresh misgivings about their future.

If home means a sense of belonging –where do the Turners belong?

It was a semi-finalist in the 2010 ABNA contest and the Publishers Weekly Reviewer described it as:
“Droll, witty and utterly British. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well.”
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Strictly Murder by Lynda Wilcox

The estate agent’s details listed two reception rooms, kitchen and bath. What they failed to mention was the dead celebrity in the master bedroom. Personal assistant Verity Long’s house hunt is about to turn into a hunt for a killer. It will take some fancy footwork to navigate the bitchy world of dance shows, television studios, and dangerously gorgeous male co-stars. When Verity looks like the killer’s next tango partner, she discovers that this dance is … Strictly Murder. Continue reading

Learn Me Gooder by John Pearson

In this sequel to Learn Me Good, Jack Woodson (no longer a green behind the ears teacher) returns to recount another school year’s worth of challenges, triumphs, and mishaps with a brand new cast of wild and crazy students.
Six years have passed, and this time around, Jack gets a talking monkey sidekick, a beautiful love interest, and a top-secret undercover CIA assignment to Uranus. (Well, ONE of those things is true, anyway.) There are witty quotes, riotous stories, and more twists and turns than M. Night Shyamalan’s small intestine.
Through email correspondence with Fred Bommerson, Jack talks about PTA fundraisers gone awry, unnatural food chains, and how any action can be made acceptable as long as “it’s for science.” With subject lines such as “Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid,” “Green Eggs and Math,” and “Houston, we have a word problem,” it’s perfect for reading in small chunks or one long session. Continue reading

Kenny G Must Die! A Satire about Music… and Zombies by William Hrdina

What do you do if a co-worker won’t stop listening to Kenny G all day? If you’re Aliester Crewley, you do the obvious thing: You raise John Coltrane as a zombie to kill him. But what if Kenny G won’t stay dead? And worse, what if all of this mystical meddling accidentally starts the apocalypse? One thing is for sure, it’ll take more than the help of Keith Richards (the most powerful magician on earth) to stop Britanny Spears and her army of flying monkeys from turning earth into a pile of rubble. Don’t be fooled into thinking Kenny G Must Die!! is just a funny bit of satire. It could, in fact, be a brilliantly disguised piece of prophecy. Think about it- how can music that bad be so popular? Continue reading

Something to Read on the Plane by Jan Hurst-Nicholson

And for your in-flight entertainment – A Bit of Light Literature, Short Stories & Other Fun Stuff It’s a light-hearted variety of humorous articles, short stories ranging from hypochondria to murder, plus a quiz, agony aunt column, limericks and a collection of malapropisms to keep you amused and divert you from the tedium of flying.

“This muesli must be old. It’s got weasels in it.”
A great book to keep with you whilst travelling, and a perfect gift (suitable for both men and women) for someone who is going on a trip.
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Before the Daisies Grow (Capers of Glamour Grans) by Micki Street

Toss the bloomers, get a bikini wax and slip into a thong: life begins at sixty for three gallivanting grannies!
When Dotty and her two friends accept an invitation to a holiday on a west African island, they have no idea their host Lucas is a drug lord using them as cover. Nor does Dotty have any idea that her new acquaintance, the delicious Major Ramsay Milestone, has an ulterior motive, too–he’s there on a covert mission to break up Lucas’s operation.
Covert or not, Dotty finds out and quickly gets her wires crossed. Even though the Major gives her chronic vapours, she’s convinced he’s the bad guy. But in her harebrained attempts to “rescue” herself and her friends she makes things worse for everyone but Lucas. When she learns the truth she not only has to clean up her mess: she has to make it up to–and hopefully make out with–the Major, or be left alone with nothing more than the soft Brazzinan surf kissing her toes! Continue reading

Learn Me Good by John Pearson

Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn’t changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day. Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as “Irritable Vowel Syndrome,” “In math class, no one can hear you scream,” and “I love the smell of Lysol in the morning,” Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit. Continue reading

Magnus Opum by Jonathan Gould

A story about a little person in a very big world.

Magnus Mandalora never thought he would leave the safe confines of the small homely village of Lower Kertoob. He certainly never expected to end up in the middle of a long-running war between the saintly Cherines and the beastly Glurgs. But when circumstance places him in such a dubious position, he finds himself on a rollicking adventure where nothing is quite as it seems.

Magnus Opum is an epic fantasy that’s slightly skewed – Tolkien with a twist. Continue reading

Cutting the Cheese by Edward C. Patterson

Luke Oliver has just come out of the closet and confronts a brave new world – a meeting of the Gay and Lesbian Activist Association of New Birch and Sipsboro (GLAABS) – your run of the mill, gay political caucus. Run of the Mill? . . . my @$$. Stepping across the threshold of the Otterson estate exposes Luke to horny and hilarious shenanigans that give the Boys in the Band a run for its money. Who wants whom? Who has whom? Who will win Luke’s . . . let’s say, attentions? A self-effacing, comic romp through the Gay hierarchy, Cutting the Cheese is a reality check from the author’s provocative coming out experience in a drizzled-pink world; an outrageous ride down the funny bone. Repeat riding is encouraged. It’s every one for themself in New Birch’s Gay Ghetto. To Hell with Robert’s Rules of Order. Continue reading